Santa’s coming to town, and he’s drunk, hot, and ready to go to war.
If you’re looking for a warm and fuzzy holiday movie, look elsewhere. Violent Night is what we deserve for arguing year after year about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie. This fucked up but festive film is basically Die Hard but with Santa Claus as John McClane, a world-weary enforcer of justice, who is battling a gang of vicious thieves during a yuletide party gone brutally off the rails.
But how does that play out? Well, let’s break it down.
Is Violent Night a Santa Slasher?
Credit: Allen Fraser / Universal Pictures
For those jolted by the phrase, the Santa Slasher is a horror subgenre in which Santa (or someone dressed like him) gifts murderous mayhem. We’re talking movies like Santa’s Slay, Silent Night Deadly Night, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, and — the best of the bunch — Deadly Games, which is basically Home Alone, but with a mall Santa turned serial killer.
Violent Night follows in their footsteps, centering on a Santa (Stranger Things’ David Harbour) killing people. But rather than rosy-cheeked kiddies, feuding families, or problematic parents, this Santa Claus is dedicated purely to giving some heisting home invaders what they deserve. And it’s not a lump of coal. It’s a Christmas ornament shoved through the eye into the brainpan. After all, killing with festive weapons — like a candy cane sharpened to a point — is part of Santa Slasher’s bag.
In Violent Night, a gang of surly caterers at the Lightstone family’s annual get-together are all secretly carrying weapons and seasonal codenames like Peppermint, Jingle, Krampus, and Scrooge (John Leguizamo as the movie’s answer to Hans Gruber). They’re plotting to rob the family’s vault of hundreds of millions of dollars. But it’s hard to feel too invested in these stakes because this clan is a grumble of grim Grinches.
The Lightstone family is made up of thinly sketched caricatures of American affluence and excess: the foul-mouthed and domineering matriarch (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’s Beverly D’Angelo), the money-grubbing kiss-ass (The Righteous Gemstones‘ Edi Patterson), the obnoxious teen influencer (Alexander Elliot), the guilt-stricken golden boy (The Boys‘ Alex Hassell), and a comically cocky aspiring movie star (Twilight’s Cam Gigandet doing a merciless Mark Wahlberg send-up).
With these poster children for greed as the victims, you might be tempted to root for the robbers. But in their midst, there is a sweet child (Leah Brady), who believes in Santa and the restorative power of Christmas. Once she connects to Santa via a walkie-talkie, the crusty Kris Kringle is determined to give her the gift of survival. And maybe her shitty family can share it — season of charity and all that.
Is Violent Night a family-friendly Christmas movie?
Credit: Allen Fraser / Universal Pictures
While it does have a heart of gold — beneath a bunch of bloodshed — this is a Christmas comedy in the vein of the crass classic Scrooged but with a generous slathering of action and violence. That is to say: this R-rated movie is firmly not for kids. It begins with Santa drunk and belligerent at a bar, belly-aching about the state of the world. While this might be relatable — or wickedly fun — for grown-ups, Santa’s disillusionment might rattle youngsters. And if that doesn’t his gloppy attempt to boot and rally might!
Beyond that, because Santa is battling villains who are threatening not only Christmas cheer but also an adorable child, the red-suited warrior has a license to kill. Screenwriters Pat Casey and Josh Miller line up plenty of graphic violence, including fatal gunshots, impalements, decapitation, war-hammer smashes, and explosions. Plus, punchlines are often wrapped in flashy curse words, like when the not-so-kindly grandma says, “Don’t shit in my mouth and tell me it’s chocolate cake.”
Basically, if your standard Christmas season viewing favors films like Elf, A Christmas Story, or the Rankin’/Bass collection, Violent Night will knock your hair back and turn it white for good measure. But what if you’ve happily nestled into the bloody lap of Santa Slashers? What if you’re a fan of Tommy Wirkola’s other horror comedies?
How does Violent Night rank as a Tommy Wirkola movie?
Credit: Allen Fraser / Universal Pictures
The Norwegian writer/director made his mark in 2009 with Dead Snow, a truly outrageous zombie movie about college friends, whose ski vacation is annihilated when Nazi soldiers rise from the dead. Four years later, Wirkola brought his brand of grisly comedy mayhem to a fairy tale setting with Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which memorably cast Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as armed avengers determined to overcome their childhood trauma by wiping sinister sorceresses off the map.
Where Dead Snow was rough and wild, Hansel and Gretel had American studio slickness, yet was a satisfyingly sick romp, filled with absurd violence and unapologetically stupid jokes. When it came out, I called it “the honey badger of movies” (pulling from a meme of the time), and while that joke has aged the sentiment remains true. But nothing could prepare me for the absolutely magnificent madness of 2014’s Dead Snow 2: Red Vs. Dead. A direct sequel to his bloody breakout, this one is so astoundingly violent and twisted that I screamed throughout in uncontrollable ghoulish delight. And frankly, you’d be hard-pressed to find a weirder yet pitch-perfect ending in any genre.
So, with all the dizzying derangements of these Wirkola works dancing in my head like visions of sugar plums, I was eager for Violent Night. And I can confidently report that…it’s fine. For a star-studded American movie where Santa kills people, it’s pretty shocking, indulging in scenes of festive homicide with a wink befitting the mischievous Saint Nick. But for a Wirkola movie, it feels tame. He’s given us badder baddies, more eye-popping kills, and more charismatically chaotic heroes before.
Though adorned with cleverly Christmas-y weaponry, the fight choreography is a bit banal, unadorned by swish pans and uninspired cinematography. However, one Home Alone-inspired sequence stands out. There, Wirkola cheerfully lays the anticipation about what the pursuing foes are about to face as they chase down the plucky kid hero, and the payoff is as thrilling as seeing a big glistening gift box with your name on it.
But if you’ve seen other movies like this or other Wirkola movies, nothing in Violent Night feels as provocatively irreverent. This Santa might slaughter without regret, but he also gently advises a child that “butthole” is too close to a swear word for those on the Nice List. Yet, credit where it’s due, Harbour sells the hell out of that line.
David Harbour slays as Santa in Violent Night.
Credit: Universal Pictures
Bedecked in fur-trimmed red leather and topped with a man-bun that signals playtime is over, Harbour brings the beer-bellied might that has become his niche, from Stranger Things‘ Hopper, to Black Widow’s Red Guardian to Hellboy’s Hellboy. It’s his gruff but lovable persona that makes Violent Night work, even when the script gets lazy with characterizations and the fight scenes lack a nasty shimmer.
Plus, Harbour looks good as Santa. And Wirkola knows it, gifting us with shots of this Santa shirtless and leaning into close-ups that linger so near, you might smell the stale beer and sugar cookies on his breath. I’ll give it to them both, Santa Slashers don’t often boast this much sex appeal.
In the end, Violent Night is a mixed bag. It lives up to the gore and seasonal slaughter demanded of the Santa Slasher genre and boasts a higher production value that makes some moments — like Santa dashing up a chimney — sing. It’s R-rated for being rude, crude, gruesome, and graphic, which might satisfy your hunger for something savage to counterbalance the sugary sweetness of an onslaught of earnest yuletide rom-coms. But for a Wirkola work, it might be best considered an entry point. You must be this wild to continue on this ride.
Maybe the litmus test for Violent Night is this: does the idea of Santa pissing off the side of his sled — while the reindeer fly high over Washington D.C. — disgust, titillate, or leave you shrugging? If you’re disgusted, shop elsewhere for holiday fun. If you’re shrugging, manage your expectations before lining up to see this Santa. If you’re titillated, you better watch out for Dead Snow 2.
Violent Night comes to theaters everywhere on Dec. 2.
