Meeting someone organically, or “in the wild,” is unlikely these days. Unless you’re the star of a romantic comedy, you’re more likely to meet someone through online dating. But online dating isn’t always easy. It can be tough to keep up a conversation with someone you don’t know anything about, especially if you’re only basing your opinion on their looks. And that’s if you can even find someone worth chatting with in the first place.
Why is online dating so hard?
Online dating poses a challenge for both men and women, but from different angles: If it’s a lady you’re pursuing, chances are she’s received more than a few unsolicited messages already. For women, maneuvering around creeps is often more work than it’s worth.
It can be hard to know what to say when you’re first messaging someone. You don’t want to come across as too creepy or too eager, but you don’t want to seem uninterested either. It’s a fine line to walk, and with the added competition, a seemingly impossible challenge. Here are a few tips to help you get the conversation started:
Don’t be a creep
The internet is plagued with tales of nasty messages and whack opening lines from men. Avoiding the creep factor with someone you just matched with shouldn’t be hard — simply don’t be pushy about sexting, getting their number, or meeting up. (Just don’t be pushy about anything, really. It’s as simple as that.)
As for devising an opener that’ll blossom into a nice conversation, it’s important to remember that even the most harmless intent to be funny or flattering can quickly go south.
For men who are a little rusty or generally shy about messaging first, choosing the right dating app can make all the difference. Bumble, the app where only women can make the first move, is an obvious safe choice for the latter.
Here’s a good rule of thumb: Be yourself. There’s no magic formula for finding the perfect match, but being yourself is your best bet to find someone who shares your interests and values. It also doesn’t hurt to look at their profile before you start chatting. This will give you a better idea of who they are and what they’re looking for.
Seeing someone’s hobbies, favorite movies, career goals, or even political views before talking to them opens up a wealth of clever icebreakers. Bonding over how you thought Solo: A Star Wars Story was good is one million times better than telling a potential match that you “think you saw them somewhere.” (That’s not endearing. Never do that.)
Be honest about what you want
Tinder can be the right app for some singles. But it’s not the only option. If you find yourself constantly deleting it and re-downloading Tinder every other month, it might be time to try a different dating site.
Think about what’s not working: Is it too entrenched in hookup culture? Is it not focused on hookups enough? Do you find yourself mixing intentions with people not looking for the same thing? Each dating site serves a different purpose, and things are a lot easier when you’re mingling with people who want what you want.
What are the best dating sites for men?
The answer to this question isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer, but we’re here to help you decide on the best option based on what you’re looking for.
From fling-based apps to dating sites that cater to serious relationships, here are the best dating sites and apps for single men — whether you’re looking for a date, movie buddy, friend with benefits, or love and commitment.
